What’s up? This week’s self-help tip is all about speaking up. We need to get you to speak up and not feel guilty about it. Speaking up is important-you must realize that is number one. Speaking up is not about stopping some in a mean way; there’s a difference. It’s voicing your opinion and saying what’s in your heart. You’re not lashing out at someone, if you are going to speak out realize that you must say something that is going to help you. Honestly, if you are just starting the Me First practice you don’t have many opportunities at first to speak up. Remember, if you are going to say something, make it count. You have to make your words count!
First, let me introduce myself to the people to the new people that have joined the family.
I am Patrick Lerouge from Evolve Restorative Therapy. You can find me at livepainfreeprocess.com. I have a pain free concierge service that’s doing some profound things! I don’t even think my clients realize the amazing things they’re doing; things that they used to do in the past and are doing them so differently now that they don’t recognize that they’ve gone through the steps. Their pains are going away and can do things so much easier. Things that once bothered them, no longer bother them. Now they talk about big problems as though they are little issues, as opposed to the beginning when small things seemed like massive problems. Allowing me to guide them through the Live Pain-Free Process has afforded them this new way of living.
That’s the beauty part of the Live Pain-Free Process, it allows you to see the world differently since you no longer get sucked into reacting to everything. You see things for what they truly are. Mainly you see the world differently in the physical world. You no longer think about one thing to fix one problem. You see a chain of events that need to happen to change one aspect and to keep it going. We, in the Live Pain-Free Process, strive for vitality. Vitality spools on its energy. You don’t need to put anything else in it, it just goes on its own. You just need to build that momentum. And to build a momentum, you must go through many steps.
On the mental side, you’ll start to see the world completely different because you will no longer be caught by surprise. We call it the Mind Movie. We see things in advance as well as we see what happens inside of our bodies. When that thing does happen, we don’t get blindsided; we see what’s happening. On the emotional side, we focus on staying balanced. Staying within ourselves consistently and saying, “You know what, I’m going to react to this and I’m not going to have an emotional outburst, but I’m going to do something amazing.” Amazingly different, right?
That’s where the Me First book comes in. If you guys haven’t done so, please download the Me First eBook. It’s the filler, the glue that’s going to combine everything and make this really good. It will make this skyrocket as something that you and everybody else should do because it’s the foundation to everything. I’ve gotten so many great reviews which touched my heart. I love all the support you all gave me and I thank you. The me first concept evolved completely by accident. I started answering and seeing an emotional component to my client’s issues and saw that my clients were not putting themselves first- and that’s where the book came from. I wrote the eBook and people gave me a lot of feedback and now I’m going to start answering the questions.
Back to Making every word count:
Making it count is very important because what you say means something. I guarantee the person that you’re now starting to speak up to has no clue that it’s about to happen or why it is happening because they are used to an old paradigm. They are used to just speaking and going about their way. Now, they’re going to have to pump the breaks. When you begin speaking up start out by doing it in a way where your body and your mind are so clear that the words are feeling based, this way they don’t take it in a mean way. Then they’ll start understanding it’s hurting you. You need to be very clear and say something like, “You know what, that is not okay.” Then tell them why it’s not okay. Don’t just say, “Stop that” and walk away.
You want to be very clear and precise. The reason why you want to be precise is all about the concept of wanting the downward spiral. In the book, if you didn’t read it, please read the book, in chapter two I talk about the downward spiral; this is when I talk about positive psychology. Many people don’t realize that they are the ones holding you down while you’re trying to bring yourself up. By you speaking up and saying, “Stop” and giving a reason why, you break the cycle and start that downward spiral that is a natural place for the body to go. Get them to realize that it’s not okay. Once you do that, things start to change. You will be speaking from a different place; a place where you can open up and say what you need and now they are listening. Now they are faced with a choice- either interrupt and stop them or listen.
Which then brings up the next point, “YOUR POWER.”
Your next point is, you need to regain your power. The more you speak up, the more power you gain. Not power over a person, that’s not the point-I’m referring to internal strength. Every time you speak up and people are listening or even if they’re not listening, it gives you data. Once you get that data, things start to change dramatically and you begin to see where you stand in your world, which in turn gives you choices. For this reason, you must start regaining your power and then realizing that your confidence is very crucial and very fragile. That same person can take all your power away. For instance, take Michelle, Michelle is my lovely wife, she is the only person that can turn her head and destroy me. I give her that privilege because vulnerability creates evolution. The more and more you are vulnerable, the more and more you are going to learn. She’s my greatest teacher as well as the person that can put me in my place and take everything away.
She knows and understands that, so she must be mindful when I ask her for something and when I say something that she could hurt me. That’s what’s going to be happening here. When you put yourself first you can’t feel guilty because it’s about taking care of you, but you’re also going to be mindful of the people around you. It’s going to be a give and take, not a take and take. That’s what we should strive for and that’s what the purpose of this whole video tip is. It’s all about speaking up for yourself because you’ve got to make it count. Your voice means something. It truly means something, so make it count.
Let’s break it down…
Break into the downward spiral just by saying something. Make sure the words you use come from the heart, a place of feeling and that your words express why you’re hurt. This one easy step is what I love about the whole Live Pain-Free Process; the whole thing is a domino effect. Once you do one thing, it streamlines into the next thing which gives you the next thing. You’re no longer fighting for the next step, it’s all about systems and chain of events. It all boils down to you regaining your power and feeling more comfortable with yourself. That’s the name of the game of Me First. If you haven’t downloaded the book, please do so. I would love to hear your comments and thoughts, especially on the concept of speaking up. Is it hard for you? Go below and say, “You know what, speaking up is hard for me, but I’m going to try.” You doing that might get the rest of the world to say, “You know what? This person is going to try, I’m going to try too”. Then you start a chain reaction and that’s what we want here. Go down below and write down how you feel about speaking up. Until next time, later!